I'm not a "Parent" person...

It's happening already. My daughter is not quite 6 years old and she already has her very own "Mean Girl". Isn't it a bit early for this?

I thought I wouldn't have to worry about this until 6th grade at the earliest. I guess I better shut off my Parenting Cruise Control and get my head back into the game! I think I'd rather answer detailed questions about where babies come from than navigate this sticky situation. It's not just the perpetrator that is a problem, it's the girl's mother.

The mother thinks her child is all sweetness and light. She frequently comments on how "friendly" her daughter is and how she would "never do anything to hurt any one's feelings." When that comment was made at our playgroup me and the rest of the mothers sat there silently with our eyes as big as saucers.

*Blink, blink*

Really?

This is the child who frequently cuts in line, bosses the other kids around, does her damnedest to make sure someone - anyone - doesn't get included when playing, finds a kid's week spot and picks at the raw nerve until her "friend" is left in a sobbing heap on the floor. Did I mention that she's 6 1/2?

I know that's young, but you've got to meet this kid! She is a master manipulator. Her parents believe everything she says. I wouldn't go so far as to call her "The Bad Seed" or anything, but you know...

When my daughter told me that the "Mean Girl" hit another girl while playing in her room I felt compelled to tell the "Mean Girl's" Mom. The girl she hit corroborated my daughter's story as well, but the woman didn't care. She told me afterward that her daughter said that she didn't hit anyone and she believes her. Mmmmkay...

Are you calling my kid a liar lady???!!! (Okay, I didn't actually say this. In fact, it didn't dawn on me until much later that she was calling my kid a liar. I'm a little slow...)

The funny thing is that this "Mean Girl" loves my daughter. She always wants to play with her and sulks at playgroup if my daughter isn't there. So I have no clue why she would be mean. The only thing that comes to mind is: Because she can.

Her parents don't stop her.

I used to think of myself as not really being a "kid person". I LOVE my own kid, but other kids got on my nerves. Then I realized that the kids' abhorrent behavior is usually a direct result of lack of parenting.

I've heard it SO many times. "He won't go to bed at night. He must have insomnia." Um. No. He won't go to bed because every time he gets up you feed him a treat, let him watch TV, and then lay with him for HOURS until he falls asleep. Sounds like getting up is a lot more fun than staying in his room by himself and sleeping!

Or, "She just has a hard head and doesn't realize I'm talking to her." Um. No. She hears you, she just doesn't care. She knows that you are too lazy to get out of your chair and do any parenting so she ignores you. As usual you will eventually give up yelling at her to stop hitting her sister and not do anything to discipline her. So she can just walk away, act like she doesn't hear you and there will be no consequences.

There are sooooo many more instances I can give of this. But I'll stop there. As a parent it's hard to think that a lot of the "problems" our children have are a direct result of something we're doing or not doing. It sucks when it's our fault.

I'm not the perfect parent. My daughter's pig-sty of a playroom can attest to that. I'm not consistent enough about getting her to clean it up. Most of the time I'm too tired at the end of the day to deal with it.

Sometimes I think, "I'm too tired to be a good Mommy today. I'll be a good Mommy tomorrow and have her clean it up." But then the next day comes and I use the same excuse.

One time I even saw my daughter hit another child while they were playing outside in our backyard. I sheepishly admit that for a moment I thought, "No one else saw it. The kid who got hit isn't crying. I can just sit here drinking my tea, talking with my friends and not have to get up and put her in a time out."

Luckily the Good Mommy Angel on one shoulder told my Lazy Devil Mommy on the other shoulder to shut up because I needed to do the right thing. Even if it meant getting off of my ass.

Every day I fight my laziness in order to do the right thing. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail. But I'm always trying! I just wish that everyone else was too.

This Mean Girl Junior is just the first of many who will pop up in my daughter's life. I can't protect her from all of them. So I've got to teach her to protect herself from them. But how?

I don't know.

On the positive side. Having this "Mean Girl" in my daughter's life has been a great learning experience for my kid. I can tell her a million times to stand up for herself, but she is the one that has to do it. Better to learn now at almost 6 than when she is a teenager and some girl is taunting my daughter because she's too "scared" to jump off of a bridge like everyone else.

Right....?