Women are from Mars and men have a penis...

So my husband just did something to me that just seemed downright rude. At least the women I know would think so.

The men, probably not so much.

My husband was in the garage working on some project or other. I guess men would like to know what kind of project, but since I'm a woman, I don't care. All you need to know is that it involved a saw.

I was just about to leave for the store and he asked me a question. I'm not even sure what the question was, but I do know that I was two words into my answer when he turned around, flipped on the saw and cut some wood.

Umm 'scuse me. YOU asked me a question, I was answering and you freaking turned on the saw??!!

Who knew those things were so loud! I just yelled, "I was STILL talking!" and got into the car with my Mom (who was visiting for Thanksgiving) and left. The ride to the store gave us ample time to dissect what had just happened.

The man asked ME a question. Since he asked the question, I would assume that he would be interested in the answer.

Apparently not.

My Mom said that he's got the part down about acting interested in his wife by asking questions. He just forgot the part about listening to the answers.

He's a work in progress I guess.

If you think about it from a logical stand point it is universally rude to turn on your saw while someone is talking to you. Whether you've got an outie or an innie down there you would be offended. Right?

Wrong.

See it wasn't that he knowingly turned on the saw while I was talking. His mind just took a detour from listening to my answer and went to Planet Man that said, "Oh. Here is some wood I'm supposed to be cutting. Must cut wood." There isn't any room for, "Hmmm, my wife is talking. She might take offense if I turn on this loud contraption while she is talking."

It's a bit ironic that my husband would do something like this because the man hates noises. Any noise. Why he married me, a loud and klutzy woman who constantly drops or bumps into things, I don't know. However, every time he rolls his eyes at my loudness I just remind him that he knew this going in. It wasn't like I hid my loudness until I got him to marry me and then went about banging pots and pans and screaming at the top of my lungs.

My husband's most recent nemesis is my blender. I've been on a pretty rigorous diet over the past year and it requires me to drink a lot of protein shakes. I have at least two a day. One in the morning and one at night a couple of hours after dinner. Unfortunately, those are the two times a day that my husband isn't at work so he hears my blender a lot.

And it's loud.

The other day he even said that if he ever divorces me it will be over that blender. If that happens I'll make sure that he gets it in the divorce settlement.

Okay, back to that damned saw.

My Mom and I had a good time on the way to the store and back laughing about the difference between men and women. Men could do something completely egregious and 5 minutes later have no idea why their wife is upset. Women, on the other hand, will hold a grudge for days. We made each other giggle as we recounted such incidences in our marriages.

As we pulled into the garage my husband was still working with his saw. Luckily it was off for the moment. As we got out of the car I told him that he gave us a good laugh with the, "saw incident". He looked at me and said, "What 'saw incident'?"

Exactly.

So here's the question: If your wife talks while you are running your saw, does she make a sound?